Power Dynamics
Recently, I was at the playground with my little one. When we arrived, another family was already there with four children, roughly between 7 and 12.
I walked up with my child to the equipment they wanted to use and stood watching curiously. It was interesting to see what unfolded next. More on this later.
The theme of power has cropped up lately in different areas. So, how exactly is power defined? Power can be defined in both a negative and a positive manner. Negative – somebody uses stature, size, position or authority to control and dictate people and/or situations. Positive – used to uplift others to feel confident, worthy, seen, respected and valued.
Throughout my life, I’ve seen different scenarios that displayed negative power behaviours from adults and children. I’ve been fortunate to see positive power used and modelled by some outstanding practitioners, children and parents I know to uplift and build marvellous and enriched environments. It never amazes me when I see young children showcasing their power with their peers. I will touch on this more in future posts.
Anyway, back to the playground…
He stepped up onto the equipment. Right away, the youngest boy from the other family walked over to block one side. He puffed his chest up, stood with his feet apart, hands behind his back and glared. He then encouraged his brother to come and stand on the other side. All while I, the adult, was standing right there. Very, very interesting!
I always approach situations with other children with a curious attitude. All behaviour is communication. It was interesting they were trying to intimidate a younger child. Both of these boys were much, much bigger than my son. I intently watched to see what my son would do. If and when I needed to step in, I would. Right then, I wanted to let the situation play out as they can sometimes go in a very different direction than what adults think.
After a minute or two, my son stood there looking at them and laughed! His body language showed me in no way that he felt intimidated by them. He waved at them, said hi and started walking off. This threw the main boy, who didn’t know what to do.
One strategy I regularly use is called sportscasting, a term I learned from Janet Lansbury. Sportscasting is simply stating what is happening. In this case, I sportscast, “he is waving and saying hello.” In response, the boy nodded and stepped away.
They all enjoyed the playground for the remainder of our time there, playing near each other with no problem.
It stood out how, by allowing my son to manage the situation, I demonstrated that I had confidence in him but was there to step in and support him if needed.
I’d love to hear if you’ve had any negative or positive experiences with children that have stood out to you.
Shana
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